Jo's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Recently, I wandered into Memory Lane and explored the devastating life of 12 year-old me. The fluffy pink cover said "Enchanted Secrets" but the tiny, broken padlock whispered "the Chamber of Secrets has been opened." On December 22, 2005 I introduced myself to the world as "Asia, I mean Ashku" and explained that "I listen to rock but I am not a rocker." My phrase of choice was Today is the worst day ever! which ranged from catastrophic reasons like the angst of wanting to go to the Fall Out Boy concert, to only having 6 pairs of pants, or to being mad that my friend likes 2 out of the 3 guys I like. It is clear that my life was absolutely terrible.

On April 16, 2006 I had a particularly upsetting day:

I am currently sitting on my ass thinking bout how shity my life is. (I'm currently sitting on my ass thinking about how shity my spelling was). Today is Easter aka 3 months before my birthday (Yes, because that's what Easter is). I am still wondering if my wonderful parents are actually gonna get me a present for my 13th birthday (it's 3 months away, girl. Relax). I wanna have a manicure party but NO! It will be too expensive. (What? You mean mom wasn't thrilled about spending $50 per person? Shocking). Well anyways things are a little bit hextic (I actually spelled it hectic at first, but then corrected myself to hextic). My parents get mad at me all the time. Omg I liked this guy and then it turned out he likes my friend. But thats okay cuz I didn't like him that much. So then I liked this other guy and prayed to God he doesn't like my friend, and it worked! (Thanks God for being a great wingman!) My friend wanted to know if he would go out with her but he didn't. And he was actually thinking bout it. And he said No! And I was like Yes! So anyways it's Easter and I got candy (Going back to the important details). Kay Bye Bye

I have hundreds of pages like this, each one equally disastrous. A decade later, I like to think of the juxtaposition of little Jo, and the inch taller Jo that writes to you today. In 2016, I have problems that are much more valid and serious. I stress about succeeding at work and getting into school and filing taxes and driving stick and jogging enough and... But the thing is, they aren't really more valid or more serious. Not at all. It might seem like they are life-changingly important, just like on February 17, 2006 it seemed crucial for me to create TV show called "What Not to Wear: Kids." I laugh at my pointless 7th grader issues, undermining their importance to my short little life at the time. My problems today only seem more important because they affect me at this instant, but really they're just as stupid and just as pointless, even if I put adult words like "taxes" and "budget" in them. If I have learned anything from 12 year-old me, it's that all I have to do is recount my woes in the same melodramatic tone, in order to instantly see their ridiculousness.

On May 16, 2016 I had a particularly upsetting day:

Dear Diary,

Today is fucked. I seriously hate mah life. I slept in past my alarm cuz my snooze didn't work. Android is so stupid! So anyway I was gonna jog but I'm too lazy. How come sum ppl can run like 10k and I can only run like 4? That's NOT fair. Oh ya and today is 2 months till my bday, work betta give me the day off or I'll be PISSED! Ugh. Well anyway things are getting kinda hextic. I have French taxes to do but they are dumb! I just want social benefits for free is that too much to ask? But NO, it's too "expensive." Oh and I haven't seen my dogs in 198 dayz! I luv them so much. Today I bought cheese at the grocery store. K Bai bai. XoXo Gossip Girl

Well, if you put it that way... it sounds kind of silly doesn't it?

#stress #diary #memories