An Identity Crisis
My heart was pounding inside my chest as the teacher took attendance on my first day of grade nine. "Asia?" she says, in a I-hope-I'm-not-mispronouncing-it voice. I hear snickers around the classroom. "It's Joanne." I say, throwing away my old, mock-inducing name and creating a new identity for myself. And so it stayed. A few weeks later one of my classmates says to me, "Remember on the first day of class there was someone named Asia? What kind of name is that?" thus confirming my choice to veer away from the continent.
The thing is, my name isn't even pronounced like the continent. And worst of all my name isn't even Joanne.
Allow my to reintroduce myself. Hi, I'm Joanna. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate how that name sounds (no offence to all the Joanna's out there). Or to put it more kindly, I really, really, really, really, really hate how it sounds when associated with my face. In Polish it sounds pretty (Yo-an-nah) but it's also a very formal way of saying my name. To put it into perspective, I have never, in my 23 years of existence, heard my parents call me Joanna. Ever. Not even when they were angry.
Allow me to reintroduce myself. Hi, I'm Joanne. I have no legal documents with an E at the end of my name (at least I hope not). I adopted it so that cruel people in high school didn't call me a continent and so that no one called me by my detested real name. Cue a life time of the people asking me: So is your name Joanne or Joanna? Both, I would say, and they left more confused than before. It's not my name. You can still call me that though. I understand.
Allow me to reintroduce myself. Hi, I'm Asia. Yes, it 's somehow the short form for Joanna. Yes, it's a Polish thing. No it isn't spelled with an O. Ah-sha. Ah-sha. A-s-i-a. Like the continent? Yeah, I guess. It's what everyone in my family calls me. You can call me that too. It's my name. Sorry for not introducing myself as that sooner and making things weird.
Hi, I'm Asia and this is my blog. My blog also has an Asia crisis (still me, not the continent!) It has no idea what the fuck it wants to be. It's not a travel blog. It might have come off as such, you know with the sidebar that says travel and all, but it's not. My drafts folder is a graveyard of unfinished texts about places to visit that I fell asleep while writing. I've learned that just because you like doing something, it doesn't mean you like writing about it.Writing about travelling sucks (for me, personally). I feel like I'm bragging and recreating something I've already done instead of creating something new.
So what is this blog? You're asking the person who just figured out their name. Let's handle one identity crisis at a time. Spoiler alert: Probably stories and stuff. I don't fucking know. We'll see.